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Nova Terra

~ Just another way of stalling on my other writing

Nova Terra

Monthly Archives: September 2010

4 a.m. for the Single Lady

26 Sunday Sep 2010

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

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I have insomnia which has been treated with various zonk-out meds for about 15 years. But the pharmacy screwed up my prescription without telling me, and then closed at 5pm yesterday, instead of its usual 7. Thus, when I strolled in at 5:20, no luck for me. (This is what one gets for procrastination.)

I sleep with my laptop. Seeing as it’s a double bed and a single me, this is no real problem. (I did lightly touch the lid when getting back into bed just now, but panic saved the day. Singe had scooted down a foot or so, undoubtedly a little cool from the A/C.) I’ve done this ever since part of my ceiling caved in about a foot away from it in my last apartment. (I figure that in my bedroom, I might have a heads-up.)

Mind, this whole rationalization is a lie: My bedroom ceiling had already caved in the week before–a gallon of cold water is one hell of an alarm, and being (unusually) under the covers was the only thing that saved Julian (St. John’s dad and loyal backup laptop in case Bad Things happen to Singe or my daughter’s Aurelian). The truth is, St. John is my lovey. (Him and Max the cheetah.) But having a 250 GB boyfriend is lame.

Anyway, when I woke up half an hour ago and realized a) the massive overdose of ice cream for dinner was gonna get me in the morning and b) after 3 hours sleep I wouldn’t be good for much, I realized that choir wasn’t happening. So instead of waking up the desktop (Polycarp) and climbing into my chair, or stumbling out to the living room to whinge at Julian (out there facing potential flooded ceilings on his own; see italics above), I triumphantly just reached over to the honey. And here I am. Run-on sentences provided at no extra cost.

Wrote my choir director a brief note re the sickness that will make me fairly unhappy in the morning part of this morning, and took the back-up med with little hope. Oh well.

I used to refer to this phenomenon as the “3 a.m. squirrel,” a descriptive term which might have originated elsewhere–it’s common enough, God knows. It used to make me get up and write, but the novel is on Poly, and . . . no, wait. Never mind. So much for not writing. Hmm.

But the nice thing about the laptop era is that here I am with a large chunk of the planet. I can blog, I can play World of Warcraft, I can Facebook (that new verb). That said, it occurs to me that what I am doing is talking to my boyfriend, who at least is no longer grumpy about being woken up.

Another nice thing about laptops is that when St.John–whom loyal readers will recall had a recent trip to the vet–had his hard drive replaced last month, all I lost were a few small apps and a very little data. Can you replace your boyfriend’s brain? Can you? Nyah-nyah.

The Day Mrs. Howells Teased the Mayor at the Fair, at which She Enjoyed A Frankfurter

11 Saturday Sep 2010

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

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OK, I made up the part about the guy helping me off the train, but that was it.

I could do this all day. Sad, huh?

Stephanie alighted from her car of the underground train with some difficulty, but she smiled gratefully as a helpful gentleman offered her his arm. He guided to her to a bench, where she sank down.

“Are you sure you’re quite all right, madam?”

“Oh, yes–it is only that I was so foolish as to injure myself while walking,” she confessed. She gestured toward the heavy cloth and iron boot encasing her left foot. It reached up almost to her knee, where it was met by her tidily rolled denim trousers. The gentleman expressed his solicitude, and remarked briefly that his grandmama had once experienced a similar malady.

“Take care, miss! Be sure you do precisely as your physician advises!”

Stephanie replied with a blush that she would, although in simple fact the reader should be told that her past compliance with the decrees uttered by that good disciple of Aesculapius was none too exact. As her briefly-employed knight in shining khaki departed, she remained for a bit on the bench, engaged in rummaging through her bag, looking for the keys to her house. She was practical, and well knew that neglecting to search for them until at her very door would be difficult under her present misfortune.

Upon locating what was desired, she arose from her seat with a small and quickly stifled moan. She reflected to herself that it really would be beneficial if she indeed followed the directions of the eccentric and crusty Mr. Neal. As she exited the station, heading toward home, she was all too aware that she had been very tired from her morning.

Stephanie Howells was a short, sturdy, bright-eyed woman of some middle years. Plainly dressed and well spoken, she was that sort of decent matron who, finding herself bereft of her mate by way of life’s vicissitudes, was been long accustomed to finding her own way in the world. She sighed to herself, and determinedly popped in to see the apothecary.

After requesting three prescriptions (three!), she purchased two packets of tea biscuits, although not without a guilty self-adumbration. “After all, it’s not as if you can go to the gymnasium with your foot all encased like a seaman’s locker,” she scolded herself. She surreptitiously gave her reflection in the shop window a quick glance, but was not too displeased with what she saw, although she did adjust a curl escaping its ribbon.

After traversing the several blocks to her home, she was about to turn into the pleasant alley which she shared with a number of other tenants of the surrounding flats, when she espied a cheerfully raucous gathering in the nearby park. Her curiosity overcame her fatigue, and soon she found herself chatting amiably with a number of vendors dispensing information ranging from the sitting governor’s desire to retain his office, to providing her with a handy card enumerating the periodical table of elements. (This last she tucked carefully away, as one really never knew when such might be useful. If she had only paid more attention to benzene rings when in school! Then perhaps she might be farther up in the world!)

After sitting down carefully on a low wrought iron bench, she enjoyed a somewhat blackened Frankfurt sausage; she did not, however, enjoy the entirety of its lackluster bun as thoroughly, and somewhat distastefully placed it in the bin along with her plate. She then decided that she had had enough of this unexpected little frolic, pleasant as it had been, and determined to continue on to her flat.

However, she started a moment as her arm was affectionately clasped by an unexpected hand as she passed its owner by. To her delight, said owner was none other than the genial former mayor of her town, who attended her church. She cheerfully twitted him about his absence at that house of worship that very morning, but his honest confusion reminded her in a twinkling that in fact, today was Saturday, and that she herself had been to the church only because she needed to attend a special rehearsal for the choir. But His Honor, who was very fond of our heroine, laughed at her quite cheerfully, and after some banter, she continued on her way.

She reached her flat with no further event, other than assuring her choleric neighbor that her well-mannered little lad had held the door–and thus should not be chided for his failure to immediately appear upon his large and self-important mother’s heels. She set down her parcel of biscuits, small objects dispensed by the fair’s informational vendors–and as well a container of orange juice, left unconsumed by the choir’s breakfasting–and gratefully released herself from the boot, which was not absolutely necessary whilst in the house.

She then repaired to her closet, whereupon she sank down upon her bed with a sigh and opened the slim white writing desk which had lain by her pillow, awaiting her return. She sorted quickly through her correspondence, and, dispatching a few pithy notes directed at various friends’ communications, settled herself down to the afternoon’s work; for Mrs. Stephanie Howells was a writer.

It was an occasional habit of hers to apply her clever mind to the invitations proffered by a group of similar writers, who called themselves “Plinky,” for some reason or another. As she set herself down to answer yet another challenge, at first she tsk’ed, as its main question merely addressed a question of *style,* but its enlargement then enjoined the hapless writer to describe a scene of some years past.

Stephanie considered herself quite the literary maverick, and opted to follow the first recommendation, eschewing the second. “After all,” she mused to herself, “that blasted boot indeed made the morning seem quite lengthy.” She set about her task with cheer; however, she soon noticed to her chagrin that indeed, her usual daily style, both fictional and mundane, held something of a resemblance to that style which she had been exhorted to attempt.

It was indeed educational, as she realized that the ornately constructed Latinate sentences which were her natural wont had been distinctly inspired by the works of such masters as Henry James and Anthony Trollope; indeed, by her beloved Herman Melville himself; and she wondered sadly at the general failure of the modern world to properly read and understand sentences which were only ten or so words long; vocabulary which was intended for those no more than ten or so years old; but she knew very well that such were now sadly out of fashion–indeed, were now termed “run on”–(she shuddered in embarrassment), and adjudged inappropriate in an age where semicolons, colons, dashes, full stops, and all their fellows could be tossed away with the sneering acronym, “TLDR;” that is to say, the audience found such Too Long, and thus Didn’t Read it.

She concluded her penultimate paragraph–which indeed contained but a single sentence–and posted it, so that her fellow writers might indeed consider it too long, and would thus not read such, which would be a pity and most unfair, as such had been the very prompt assigned for the day.

Powered by Plinky<Plinky Prompt:Write a scene in the style of a historical fiction novel.>

When I Got to Say Thank You

10 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

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I now only own two physical objects bearing the name I changed because I loathed it. I kept the two because they illuminated the Sign-for-Me in ways that were tremendously useful and important. The other one is my Harvard AM diploma.

A bored little boy goes on an adventure through the living people and places of knowledge itself, and he stops being bored.

Well gosh. Who'd want to read that? (For what it's worth, I also really liked the book about the guy who slept with a cannibal and then went looking for a whale.)

And now that I think of it, they have some stuff in common–or maybe all they have in common is me. Both took me to very special places; both fed my innermost desire for an accelerative infosuck.

It's just What One Does to mock Moby Dick; and everybody loves Phantom Tollbooth . . . but canons are canons; fame is fame–and altars are altars.

That portrait of Melville on the cover of the Penguin edition hangs in the Houghton Library at Harvard. I've stood before it and silently . . . what? Communed? No; I've been saying thank you. A whole lot.

Several years ago, I was visiting the Museum of Children's Art. (I think. I'm not going to Google. Indulge yourself.) Anyway, they had Norton Juster speaking.

Afterwards, as almost everybody had filed out, I gathered every nerve I had, and I went up to him, and trying more or less successfully not to cry, I said:

"Mr. Juster, Phantom Tollbooth is probably the most important book I ever read. It taught me to look at learning things, and knowing things, and it encouraged me that it was fun. I'm getting my PhD in English at Harvard right now, and it's partly because of your book."

Sappy. Yeah. But I meant it, every word, and he knew it. He said something gracious–and his eyes got just a little bit teary. I knew that he had heard me say thank you.

I just got up and went to look for the copy he signed for me–and at first I couldn't find it. The book on Tarot I hunted for two days ago–sure. (Thanks, gremlins.) The copy of The Dot and the Line similarly signed for my son (and unmailed for five years or so now)–yep.

When I found it, I realized why it had been so difficult. For one thing, my Scholastic paperback copy had had the cover blue on its spine.

And for the other, I was looking for a book about twice as thick as it actually is.

When I was very little, I thought the twelve-year-old upstairs was an adult. It's like that when you're small: Everything is bigger.

I've stopped hugging the knees of giants–but Phantom Tollbooth will always be really, really thick. My bookshelf groans beneath it; it and Narnia and Oz and Lord of the Rings. But only Phantom Tollbooth is signed to *me*–

and it's the only one for which I got to say, "Thank you."

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Sending It Into the Future

02 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

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You know what I mean.

Yeah, I have ADHD, which stands for Another “Duh, Honey!” Day.  And admittedly, a common ADHD diagnostic question is “How often have you had to hunt for your wallet, keys, or similar item this week?” (And I must admit that as I write, I can’t find either my phone or my keys. That’s not what inspired this little essay, but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

But that’s not quite it. There’s a pattern to this phenomenon, and I think everybody is familiar with it. After all, everybody (well, most normalish people) misplaces things–and  you have looked at the header for this post, and by now, you indeed know perfectly well what I mean.

The first time this happened, I was 18 years old, and on a late date with the love of my life. He was a student at Kings Point, the US Merchant Marine Academy; and he had to be back by a certain hour or he’d be sent to the stockade or something. So a friend offered to drive him. It was a longish drive, and it would be extra time to pet him and stare into–yeah, whatever. Of course, I wanted to go–but I couldn’t find my keys, which meant I was screwed in terms of getting back into my building. Looked all over. Finally, they couldn’t wait another minute.  I cried. (I was 18. Cut me some slack.)

So, the very next morning–or when I got up, more to the point, having petulantly gone to bed at 0-dawn:30–there were my keys, sitting on a shelf. I had searched there several times. I couldn’t figure it out. I later told a wiser friend about this; and she nodded sagely, and said, “Mm, yes. You sent them into the future. It happens sometimes. Chances are you shouldn’t have gone on that trip.” I pointed out that they hadn’t crashed into a ditch, but she argued that my presence would have changed the situation–and as modern physics tells us, this is true.

But as my life continued, so did my apparent desire to similarly save myself from all manner of badness. I’m no longer sure about Abby’s hypothesis re any positive effect or reason; unless it was imperative to the economy that I go out and buy a new one. But I kept sending stuff into the future anyway.

Other wiser souls have opined that it’s not actually us, or anything human at all, but gremlins. That’s what I’m going with now. (After all, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those who notice that they have lost half of them.)  These minor demons have an uncanny sense of what’s  going to screw us up when–and then sadistically rub our noses in our own failure to control our lives. But something recently happened that gave me hope for beleaguered humanity:

St.John–which, by the way, is pronounced SIN jun, if you care, which you probably don’t–is my MacBook, and over the past month, he got sicker and sicker. I hadn’t shelled out the $250 for AppleCare, but hardware was still under warranty, and so I called them.

The nice guy told me that it wasn’t likely to be my hard drive, and then suggested anyway that I re-install my system from the disk that came with my computer, in a packet entitled “Everything Else.”

This conversation was a blasphemy against the Lord God Steve, as it did actually concern software; but he said “I’m going to walk you through out of the goodness of my heart.”  But . . . I couldn’t find it–I will say that I did move this summer.  He gave me the basic two step instructions, saying that if I knew how to reset my PRAM, I could do this. (Thanks.) He said that absent the disk, I would have to go out and buy Snow Leopard all over again.

“You know that if I buy the disks, I’m going to find them immediately afterwards, right?”

“Yep.” He knew what I meant.

So after we hung up, I searched everywhere. Looked in all the random unpacked-ish boxes in the house. (And you know what I mean there, too.) But I couldn’t find them. I might have thrown them out in a fit of packing idiocy, but I’m not quite that much of an idiot. I knew damned well that they were lurking out there in the future, taunting me.

I went to the pathetic trouble of calling my alma mater’s tech support, and begging  to borrow them, as I had been told that Snow Leopard would run me $30 that I just don’t have. It would have taken ten minutes; I would be right there at the counter. . . but he really couldn’t do that. School would send him to the stockade with my teen boyfriend. (Although classier than Kings Point’s.)

But geeks are the salt of the earth, and he warned me that in fact the Snow Leopard disk probably wouldn’t do what I wanted.

“You know that if I do buy the disks, I’m going to find them immediately afterwards, right?”

“Yep.” He also knew what I meant.

He recommended that I schlep off to the Genius Bar at my Apple store, and I morosely made the call, figuring that anything was going to be a lot cheaper than the thousand+ bucks I had shelled out when I bought Singe. To my amazement and joy, they cheerfully said that minor software things like that they did for free.

So in didst I shlep. Found out that the well-meaning AppleCare guy was running 0 for 2, as Mr. Hard Drive, she was no longer mounting. (*boom chick*, no matter what you thought there.) So I did the I’m-still-under-warranty booty dance, and left the baby behind.

Now,  while I had been waiting for my turn at the Bar, I had been working on a piece of cross-stitch for a present. I was under a deadline, and so that next morning came the usual slide-to-home-plate of getting the damned thing finished. I needed some fabric to back it; went to its location in the linen closet–and . . .

. . . out slid “Everything Else.”

I knew without a shadow of the faintest of doubts that the gremlins had sent it into the future–because who in their wildest imaginings would have packed it in there?

But the little bastards screwed up!!!! Booyah!!!! Although it turned up right on schedule–on the very morning after it had been desired–

–I hadn’t actually needed it. And for once, the economy had not been enriched by any of my gremlin tribute.

The damned little sheeping bastards aren’t omniscient after all. There is a new dawn of hope for the human race.

And you know exactly what I mean.

Nova Terra

just another way of stalling on my other writing

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