• Who is this chick anyway?

Nova Terra

~ Just another way of stalling on my other writing

Nova Terra

Monthly Archives: May 2015

And Now, a Brief Moment of Despondency

30 Saturday May 2015

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

despair, editing, writing

OK, I thought re-doing Max would be fun and challenging. Instead it is Hard Work and Annoying and Bothering Me. I keep feeling that I’ve thrown the baby out with the bathwater. What I need to wrap my head around is that this is essentially a whole different book. Right now it is also a very short book. (Chapter 13 is now Chapter 3, with more cuts to come.) I’m thinking I need a subplot, but don’t want to have to rewrite *every sheeping word*. There’s a big piece of me wanting to just walk away from the whole damn project and announce it as a Fail. What made me think I could be a writer, anyway?

It’s funny–all this time I’ve been thinking that my main goal in life was to get Max published. Now I think I’ll be pretty spiffed if he’s ever finished. I don’t write this way, where I tear things apart from the ground up, and I fear I will be killing much of what I and others have found charming about my style, such as it is. But . . . not getting to the main PLOT until half the book was all bathed in backstory is unforgivable, at least for a newbie needing to get and hold people’s attention. Why did it take me two years to figure this out? How embarrassing.

My only guess on that one is that I haven’t been working hard enough, which is also embarrassing. I am seriously thinking of just giving up the whole peer specialist gig, which is like a big hungry baby invading my boundaries and sucking me dry every week. I’m hoping that this two-week break will help me realign my head.

Various Catchups, Mustered

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by lionsofmercy in Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bipolar disorder, cancer, cats, faith, life, nam myoho renge kyo, vacation, work, writing

A chance rejection of poor Max made me realize (as in, a light bulb went nuclear) that his story has eaten my plot. So I trashed something like ten chapters (Yes!), realizing that they were the equivalent of his baby book: You only want to see that stuff if you are already enamored of Max. Now this leaves me with the problem of how to make you enamored of Max without starting with the one-celled Phalutagemickis of his Tricenjurassic past. Oy. At least this leaves me with what for me is a happy thing–I no longer have to worry about how long it is!

* * * * *

The whole faith thing has expanded to the point where I’m considering going back to chanting Nam myoho renge kyo as a sort of meditation. Last time I did this, my life exploded, which was probably all a coincidence, but I am still looking at the beautiful liturgy and beads a friend sent me, all sitting nice and quiet on my nightstand, and telling myself not to be a scaredy cat. Maybe my life needs to be exploded; what do I know?

* * * * *

My therapist listened to me rant about the hatefulness of my job for a few sessions, and then suggested I take a vacation. After I experienced what for me is an early warning sign of Bad Stuff (i.e., I took a mental health day), I decided to be obedient and compliant and whatnot, and am taking off for the first two weeks of June. This is unpaid leave, and as such won’t involve tropical islands or anything, but at the very least the only crazy people I have to deal with are my beloveds in my inner circle. And me. Very much me, that being the point.

* * * * *

My beautiful 11-year-old cat has cancer, and I am mordantly amused by how this has affected us. The Big C has a numinous presence that has totally turned around how we treat her, let alone think about her. Much tiptoeing and overindulging–good thing we also brought home a major toy for Zoe, who has been on Rip’s butt ever since she stepped out of the carrier.

Ripley had surgery a week and a half ago at the awesome Alliance for Animals, and they got it all, but warned us of probable recurrence. She seems to be her old self, if not better now that she doesn’t have a lump in her mouth, but has gotten really spoiled, because we had her on cat soup (Yes, they make cat soup) while she was healing, and now it’s nose up at most *wet* food, let alone *shudder* kibble. We are delighted, but we all hear the mortality ticking. I’m prone to hearing that as it is, so for now we love the hell out of her and try not to think about it.

* * * * *

And that’s a wrap. Time to head off for a board meeting, instead of my writers’ group, which is so much fun I’d frankly rather be doing that, but being a grownup sucks. So it goes.

Nova Terra

just another way of stalling on my other writing

Categories

  • Blog
  • Fiction
May 2015
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Apr   Jun »

Blogroll

  • Aaaand it's my brand new Patreon page! (Still being set up.)
  • All the Google Doodles
  • And there's even a Google Doodle store!
  • BBC has all these nifty all-about-you tests . . .
  • Free downloadable SF books! Good ones! Really! Legit even!
  • Help transcribe the New York Public Library's menus! Minimal effort required!
  • Lunar Calendar
  • My YouTube favorites, in case you're bored or curious
  • Places to increase your mellow
  • rathergood.com. Well, pretty darn good.
  • The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette. Really. Awesome.
  • The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody
  • The Onion interview with God, September 2001
  • Translate Japanese characters to Roman letters
  • Want a koan? Pick a koan. Any koan.
  • What people of X height look like at Y weight

Stupid Art! doh!

  • Graph Paper of the Gods
  • The Museum of Bad Art

Stupid Writing! doh!

  • By golly, this is a pretty darn good Inuit-family language vocab site!
  • Lunar Calendar
  • Random noun generator
  • Revised Standard Version
  • The Bible

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Nova Terra
    • Join 424 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Nova Terra
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar